seek within myself

seek within myself

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Ok i duno how 2 start? its been such awhile since i last glued my ass down on the chair n submit a post. 2dae i shall b special abit and do jus that.

Yesterday is CNY day1. its the same as last year i guess. went to my auntie's house for Re-reunion dinner. urm they tossed the duno what colourful stuff that tasted sweet, ok i admit i dont eat that crap. they laughed at me. i then proceeded on to other dishes like urm, ok, they had everything except sharks fin. they've even got artificial abalone? i mean wads the point of having fake ones when we had plenty of real ones on the table? my auntie giggled "artificial ones taste better". whateva...

its routine, all routine. so i'd expected it long ago. BigGreatAunt gave me BigRedPacket. can't wait to open it but its rude to open it in front of them. so i resisted. persisted. i opened it only when i reach home. beforehand, i've already predicted an amount she'll give this year based on the trends of past years as well as the economic status. 1997 and before: economic stability, amt received: SGD150. 1998-2002: economic crisis, amt received: SGD100. 2003-2004: economic recovery and recuperation, amt received: SGD120. 2005: strong economic growth but yet to be back on track. amt predicted: SGD120 (I was right!). without further hesitation, i placed the money togather with my others. so next year i'd expect no less than SGD140!

This year's taking seemed to be not bad after all. Parents gave me SGD150 and a further 40 from other anonymous givers. Anyone who gave me less than $10 would remain anonymous in my list =) it've always been like that. rules are rules. laws are laws. wanna be named, give more. and for those who are in my list, thankyouverymuch. they gave enough to be named. they gave enough to be listed. they gave enough to claim their identity, to claim their status. at the very least to me. the red packets they gave are neither too big nor too small. viable satisfiable size. just nice to seal that little vicious, hungry, greedy me inside me. just like how some would pay to keep their evil unpresentable sides hidden, to keep their dignity at the cost of their precious pride. they buy their facade. in this case, i don't pay. i don't buy. others pay me. but others can't buy me.

For today, CNY day2. i did nothing much. still fantasicing over yesterday's takings. traumatising over yesterday's givings. there have to be a balance between these two. takings and givings. takings exceed givings, im happy. givings exceed takings, im not happy. simple. not even mathematics. simple life equation. for this year, im happy. the balance sheet strikes a profit. yes takings exceeded givings. there have to be two. takings and givings. there can't be only one. takings without givings- you are such a selfish geek and you are better off dead. freeloader. givings without takings- you have no life. stop letting others taking advantage of you. born loser. So there u go. so today im happy. so shall next year.

efijy rockeD* at 8:05 PM

TAKE A LOOK AT BAO LOON
Abao.. Abao.. He's not a boy, not yet a man... Birthday: 21st July, 1986. Favourite colour: Blue. Favourite animal: Dog. Dimensions: height 1.70m, weight 52kg, vital stats 32 32 32 stickinsect. Horoscope: Cancer. Plays hockey for his school Pioneer Junior College. Plays drum for his band Thunderstruck and Re-Cast. Loves his Family, Friends and God.

GREENDAY: BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS THIS SONG IS DEDICATED TO MY FRIENDS, FAMILY AND GOD
SING ALONG WITH ME...

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

playing BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS
by Green Day =)

FRIENDS

BAOLOON'S RECOMMENDATIONS

TO DO LIST

Compose a song for my band

Play hockey

Go for the stupid NS medical checkup thingy

Study and mug hard

Express my utmost gratitude to my Family, Friends and God

designed by AH BAO

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