seek within myself

Saturday, March 13, 2004


...disappointment resides no where else but on stage... but many a times human being seeks to go back into age.. with our heart seemed to be locked in the cage.. flipping thru each and every heavily sublimed page..
...never have i feel disowned before.. not like this very moment.. where all my familiars went unfamiliar.. when all my hopes seemed hopeless..
...with mi heart out of place.. giving in to the cloud of disgrace.. i would not be able to keep up my usual pace.. yet nowhere would allow me to bury my face..
...not only am i disappointed.. a let down is what i should be described as.. redeem and resolve is sure to be.. whether i should stay is yet to be sure..
...im sorry i can't be perfect.. neither can i be perfectly imperfect.. some things are beyond my control.. yet those within my control have started controlling me...
...flipping to the next page do i see a new beginning, a new chapter installed for me.. every flip of a page is a transgression of a new boundary.. the possible and the impossible is clearly defined with a boundary... our capabilities are limited by impossibilities...
...it is impossible to make all things possible.. yet it is possible to make all things impossible.. integrate oneself into the heart.. one would find countless hopes revived..

Yestadae i was kinda dissappionted so i neva update mi blog.. since theres nothin special 2 comment abt 2dae, i shall recall wad happened yestadae.. it is friday and it is talentnite.. mi band had sufficient rehearsals.. however we fail 2 make the best out of it.. da performance went smoothly despite a few mistakes i pioneered.
i reali owe mi band so much tt it seemed impossible to be redeemed.. i am one lousy drummer n yet Thunderstruck went against da odds, go against the storm, accepting me at the cost of forgoing other much better drummers.. i reali feel like an opportunity cost to mi band.. they always recognise mi pros n refused 2 do so when it comes to mi cons.. they reali make me feel integrated to the band, as if there is a bond of love, a bond of passion ionically cementing us togather..
i reali want to continueing improving so that i can repay mi band n instil some un4gettible good memories unto them.. although others enjoyed our performance n dey said we r great, i feel that the "we" should hav excluded me as i dun deserved the glory and praise.. the forthcoming chance for us would b none other than arts day.. we wil work hard 2gather and may we, Thundersruck, ride the thunder n struck the audiences.. we wil continue to rock on..
talentnite is oso the last day of the 1st 3mths to some of us and i am gonna miss them.. aft the performance ended, a few of mi clazmates gathered outside the audithorium.. suspense arose into the atmosphere as we wonder when we would see each other again. the feeling is unbearable, reali.. there seemed to be a heavy contrast between our group and the other groups.. others gathered, their excitement overflowed their hearts as comments started overfowing their throats as wel. they r indeed noisy..
for us, however, there seemed to b an invisible dome formed over us, inside the dome ish the very place where our love and sadness resides.. it is noisily silent & quietly noisy.. it is rather quiet amongst us as tears shed non-stop down our cheeks like a stream with water continuously flowin aimlessly, not knowing its destination, not knowing when we will meet again.. sadness choked our throats and silenced most of us as we became speechless.. it is an irony, isn't it, when on normal days we had tonnes to talk abt yet on the last day of sch, we should b saying all that we haven't said in the past, however, we didn't..
for the very 1st time, the 2 most hyperactive & hypertalkertive gals in mi claz, Benita n Rachael were outspoken by their hearts.. tears seemed to have said everything for them.. as we walked slowly out of the school gate along the stretch of road, it seemed as though we r walking along the memory lane.. all memories of da past r recalled.. on this finale night, no one would know when wil it, or wil it ever come again. finally our long walk brought us to the bus stop outside PJC.. we waited for our respective buses to come.. as every bus approaches, our tension rised and our emotions erupts to a new high level.. we wondered, with the arrival of each and every bus, who will board this bus? never had we experience this kind of feeling b4 while waiting for buses.. On normal occasions we would say to ourselves "wah da freakin bus ish damn slow man, faster come leh.." however, on the night, our norms were transgressed, we were thinking "plz god, dun let da bus come so fast, i can't bear 2 let each bus take away one of mi clazmate from me.." i love mi clazmates, reali.. no matter wad, we wil keep in touch.. the special night had swept away our classmate bonds.. but remember, it hasn't taken away our friendship bonds!!



efijy rockeD* at 10:21 PM

Monday, March 08, 2004


...Mondae bLuezz.. yestadae i went to bed at abt 3am.. onli fell asleep at abt 5.. slept for 2 short hours den wake up n chiong 2 sch liao.. haha.. 2dae ish fun.. raining da hole day.. den assembly in da hall. den me n clazmate practically ponned every lesson n we go 2 da libary. as we were walkin towards da concourse area, da teacher tt i had a crush on walked towards me as well.. den i was like peeping at her den she looked at me as wel.. haha.. glad she noticed me :) wah in econs tutorial da stupid indra, mi clazmate, go n push me!! haha den i fel down den sabo him kana write apology letter by Mr Tay hehe... den we go lit lec where all da short films produced by da arts classes were showed. its kinda nice.. den aft sch we go see a hockey video and learned many tactics n strategies. haha.. gd news ish tt i got C% for mi chinese so no more chinese for da rest of mi life.. CAN U BELIEVE IT??!! btw.. i ask u al arh.. if one day u all happily n impatiently waiting and finally waited for a soccer game, den our natural reaction ish to kick da bal around 1st b4 we start a proper game rite.. den one guy took da bal n refused 2 let da rest kick around saying tt if we liddat kick around waste time we wil neva form team n start a proper game.. den he himself plays around wif da ball.. how would u all feel? pls post ur comments on mi tagboard :)


efijy rockeD* at 10:47 PM

Thursday, March 04, 2004


Heya!!! Wowo 2dae was kinda great for me.. in da morning @ abt 7:15 i woke up, brush teeth, eat a little n chiong 2 sch liao.. tot i was gonna b late. den reach there saw da sch "guardian of destiny" standin at da gate blowing his wistle shoutin "stil walk? ur gonna be ate u noe?" i hack care him n walked at mi usual pace.. when i entered into da sch gate, i felt reali lucky as da 2nd bell rang immediately aft i entered.. guess wad.. i was da laz student entering PJC b4 da rest was held back for late cumin.. haha dey kinda looked at me thinking.. "wah that fella so damn lucky.." haha.. den durin assembly da student council announced da result for wed's audition. haha no doubt Thunderstruck made it thru!!! onli 3 outta 5 bands was selected though.. then i go claz liao.. wah attend econs lec liao i pon chinese n GP tutorial, hiding wif mi fren in da library.. den mi claz gals was using da com "illegally" coz none of them were in j2 so by rite can't use.. den da stupid librarian came n quacked all shits outta her mouth.. act big.. she was reali big(in size) though... haha.. den aft sch i go n sit for mi geog test which i missed for dunno 1 mth or so.. then anihow do.. den i saw one act cool guy walk pass whistling like a poser.. i looked @ him.. den he stop.. he neva looked back. i was quite du larn so i called him.. he ignored me n walked away.. mi fren oso asked him back but he was kinda scaed n juz ignored us.. so den aft da test i go hockey training liao.. howeva i refused 2 comment on da training.. den go hm liao lor.. so 2molo ish da release of da mother's tongue AO results.. i wish those receiving da results 2molo al da best.. laz but not least, plz get da talentnite ticket at a mere $3 & cum support Thunderstruck... Thunderstruck couldn't n wouldn't be there without u.. its u that we r playin for.. so to all, hope 2 c u dudes out there in talentnite :)


efijy rockeD* at 8:03 AM

Wednesday, March 03, 2004


Alrie man.. 2dae ish da day of audition.. i juz finish da audition in bukit timah n we jammed one hour b4 da actual aud. everything went smoothly... juz thast we r limited to playin one song instead of 2 that we planned. after which, i stayed 2 watch other band's auditions.. they're great as well.. but thiz yr talentime like very few bands join. now i cloze mi eyes n pray tt we wil get thru da aud to play on talentime. wah yestadae i rubbed mi eyes coz it was itchy.. so now its kinda abit red n itchy stil.. haha.. 2dae neva go sch again.. but 2molo hav 2 go liao.. reali wonder how mi claz bcum liao.. hehe.. after mi aud i went play pool wif band & frens den we go eat.. den da stupid ayam go and show diz retard face to 2 complete strangers n dey gotta shocked.. haha.. i'm reali glad i completed wad i promised mi band.. den i cum home liao.. eat half a tub of chocolate ice-cream juz now wah den remind me of mcflurry! so 2molo got sch fer me n aft which got hockey pitch training.. everything seemed positive 2dae xcept tt mi hatred of sumone grew worse.. but dun worry, i wun kill him. i wil juz make sure i torture him until he commits suicide himself... haha.. gonna bath liao den go eat dinner den go eat ice-cream later den watch TV.. den slp.. den it wil b 2molo liao..


efijy rockeD* at 4:11 AM

Tuesday, March 02, 2004


Haha.. 2molo will be mi audition day so wish me gd luck.. mi band- THUNDERSTRUCK, wil be playin 2 songs. "i'll do anithing" by simple plan and "be myself" which is composed by mi band. da aud wil be at bukit timah.. d place is cool. wah da drums there is doublebass capable!! wil b jammin there quite often coz its significantly cheaper and better.2dae didnt go sch. 2mmolo dun hav to but thur muz go liao. quite sad oso coz mi current clazmates juz receive their results n many r leavin to sumwhere else. so duno how mi claz wil b like after da 1st 3mths.. Haiz.. 2dae eat sushi for dinner haha!! den fri ish mi fren bday den we goin sakae sushi again.. :( nvm juz hope i dun grow to look like a sushi can oredi. oso laz sun Newcastle Utd drew wif Pork's mouth by conceding a 86th min goal by Lomana Lua Lua, an ex- newcastle player.. so sad.. @#$% him for scoring against his parent club. wadeva it ish, i hope 2molo's aud goes well n we can get in lah!


efijy rockeD* at 6:32 AM

Monday, March 01, 2004


wah.. k today is nothin much.. aniwae 2molo i wun b goin 2 sch coz of da jc1 JAE.. so wil not go sch til mayb wed or thur.. meanwhile i'm waiting for mi chinese AO results.. so to all waiting for their results, all da best n gd luck.. wah i actually wrote this in da middle of da nite.. its actually 2am now!!! haha.. aniwae juznow during dinner wif mi fellow hockey mates, we chat abt sumone hu has been pesting mi mind in da past few weeks... wah after i let them out i feel so good. haha.. oso i discovered that i'm not da only person having that kind of thoughts towards tt guy.wadeva it is, baoloon, cheer p.. theres more excitement n challenges ahead so dun look back n start planning ahead..!!


efijy rockeD* at 9:50 AM


Haha.. hello!!!


efijy rockeD* at 7:48 AM

TAKE A LOOK AT BAO LOON
Abao.. Abao.. He's not a boy, not yet a man... Birthday: 21st July, 1986. Favourite colour: Blue. Favourite animal: Dog. Dimensions: height 1.70m, weight 52kg, vital stats 32 32 32 stickinsect. Horoscope: Cancer. Plays hockey for his school Pioneer Junior College. Plays drum for his band Thunderstruck and Re-Cast. Loves his Family, Friends and God.
GREENDAY: BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS
THIS SONG IS DEDICATED TO MY FRIENDS, FAMILY AND GOD
SING ALONG WITH ME...

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

playing BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS
by Green Day =)

FRIENDS
BAOLOON'S RECOMMENDATIONS
TO DO LIST
  • Compose a song for my band
  • Play hockey
  • Go for the stupid NS medical checkup thingy
  • Study and mug hard
  • Express my utmost gratitude to my Family, Friends and God

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    This is my blog! I have the rights and liberty to post whatever i want okay? I apologize in advance to whomever i offend with my words. Aniwae hope you guys enjoyed your visit here. Thanks.