seek within myself

Friday, December 16, 2005


VISIT http://amberfantasy.blogspot.com
That would be my second blog, which will be updated more frequently. However, this current blog would still be kept alive for the time being.



efijy rockeD* at 7:18 AM

Thursday, October 27, 2005


From what i've heard, mr kwek is transferring to nanyang jc next year? If that's true, then i think he should at least answer some of the questions he've stirred. As many already knew, mr kwek actually dumped many of the sports cca's in pjc. For instance, rugby and canoeing. hockey was on the verge of being closed down as well, but fortunately it didn't. As far as i know, the reason behind his decisions is not because that they're underperforming. Rugby, both boys and girls, are doing perfectly fine and this batch's rugby guy's team is rather promising. Furthermore, they're like training so hard. Well, as many would have guessed it, he've done so due to the fact that he believed these cca's are hindering the student's studies. According to him, keeping these cca's would have produced more retainees as well as academic failures? And now he's leaving pjc just like that? After leaving the college in such a mess, with the ruggers and many others whose cca's have been shut down having nowhere to turn to, he'd just leave like that? Have he answered to the ruggers who have been training so hard for next year's competition? Much to my dismay, he'd rather keep those cca's like tennis and, i know wtf, but GOLF?! I cannot imagine in the future, when others ask what cca im frm during my college days, and when i answer them that i'm frm hockey, they will like give you the kind of look in their face and say "huh? pioneer jc got hockey meh? i thought they only have golf and mind sports?"

affluence vs poverty affliction.

Often , when i watched news on TV, for instance CNA, i realised that whenever a report is being made from some third world country or poorer areas, you can see that behind the reporter, in the background, many pple gathers around at the back, attempting to get themselves featured on tv. Or at least, they'll just pretend to be walking past. Either of which, they will always stare at the camera with their eyeballs bulging out as if they've never seen a camera before. When u go to India to film an interview of one of the pple, others would gather around with curiosity, as though you'd asked for them to be there. Imagine u're in India, and u're taking a public bus, others would stare at the nike dunk shoes and the levis jeans u're wearing. when u take out ur ipod nano mp3 player, nokia 8800 hp and ur Tungsten palmtop, they'd look at u as though u're from outer space. or perhaps they're right.
Now inagine doing the same here in SG. u take out ur ipod nano, others would take out their ipod video. u walk around with unmatching levis jeans and gucci handbag, others wouldn't even give a damn abt it. try hard to impress them and u'd fail. Thats a fact. We're living in the advent of mp3/mp4 players, cellphones with 3G capabilities, as well as slim digicams that others would mistake it for some phonecard. and we're immune to all these techno gizmos.
Yes its true that many other poorer nations may not be able to afford these luxury goods such that they'll make such a big fuss abt it when they see one. However, they have not lost their conscious awareness of human core values. for instance, in the recent pakistan earthquake, when it struck, many of them promptly helped each other out. they see someone in pain, they'd non-hesitantly try to comfort him as much as they could. On tv, we saw many of the rescuers wearing their home clothes. Have they ran out of suits for their rescuers? no. They're no rescue workers. Most of them were mere passer-by's. Whenever they pull out a survivor from the rubble, they cheer for joy as if they'd pulled out a prized possession from their wrecked home. Also, most of the pple who helped to carry victims to nearby shelters or ambulances are not medics either. they're just pedestrians who have their own businesses to mind. Take another example. If a car accident were to occur in the suburbs of New Delhi, many would flock to see how they could help. Togather, they would rip off the stucked door with their own bare hands and pull out the victims in it.
If the same were to happend in SG, 90% of the passer by's would just stand around with disbelieve and watch. Other drivers would deliberately slow down their vehicles to take a closer look and then just drive off. Some would take down the car number plate to buy 4D.

So here we see the difference. Those poorer people who have been living in mere simplicity of life may not be exposed to luxury or hi tech gizmos. They may well be amazed by it and probably create a hype abt it when they see one. Things that we live with in our daily lives may impress others who have been living at the absence of it. However, they have not forgotten what is it to live a life. They have chosen to live life at its purest form. Yet, we have chosen to live in the hands of luxury at the cost of the fundamentals of life. We no longer see the true core vales and meanings of life. We've bought ourselves material satisfaction, forgoing the true essence of being Homo sapiens (wise man). We're no longer wise.



efijy rockeD* at 10:09 PM

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


I really can't resist it, so i've gotta jot it down. This particular person just made my day again. I was at Orchard Paragon earlier today and i came across this huge, welcoming sports shop with lots to check out, so i walked in, with my frens. This particular shop is named Motion Sports i think and i seriously think it SUCKS!!!
My reasoning;
1)I pulled out a stunning-looking hockey stick from a vast selection and this fucking botak guy, i think he is the boss, came and told me no trying is allowed. He added that he cannot sell the sticks if they're damaged or scretched. Big deal! Hah but you see, a)most of the other sticks there are scratched or/and damaged. One of it even have part of it chipped off. And he's like STILL selling them, and telling me not to try them? How da fuck do i know if the stick is bloody suitable or comfortable for me if i don't put my hands at it? Its not saying i'm gonna give it a darn hard whack or hit, i'm not even bringing the stick into contact with the ground! And he's like so damn concerned with the matter as if its his "stick". b)the items he have are like rather old and outdated, and he's asking for a much higher price then when they just came out? I think he will be successful in opening an antique shop instead. Hah and he's selling S-League jerseys for like $100 and above when my friend can get it at $20++ elsewhere? Might as well go buy EPL jerseys that cost alot cheaper?
OKay fine he've treated me like that and so be it, yet this is how he treats all his local customers? there's a Chinese kid who was looking at a pair of boxing gloves and he told him to put it down. Oh how much damage can a kid do to the gloves? Woh perhaps its made of glass or even crystal such that its very fragile and one drop will shatter it eh? or that the leather skin that its made of is so darn thin that it can easily peel off just like how skins peel off your body easily when you have sunburn? Wow its a durable pair of gloves you have there eh, do you fucking know what boxing gloves are for? For display? There's perhaps an instruction tag on the glove stating "XXX Boxing Gloves- No machine wash, no hand wash, just use it for your viewing and showing-off pleasure. Its not built to be worn, be it for boxing or other purposes like pcc'ing." And a slogan for such a pair of intriguing boxing gloves that are designed not for boxing perhaps? "Just Don't Touch It".
Bear in mind, all the customers he've treated this way were local. Then here came a pair of ang moh tourists, and he immediately hid that wolf tail of his and said "please feel free to look around and try". Eh WTF?!! Treat the tourists like so nice and the otherwise when it comes to the locals?! If you are so damn embarrassed about being an Asian, or local, then don't be one! Ask ur mummy to fuck a caucasian? or a dutch? mayb you'll look better anyways. C'mon be it caucasians or Asians, they're still your precious customer after all right? Either you treat your local customers with a whole lot more respect and positive attitude, or simply share your fucked-up attitude with the tourists as well eh?
What's so special abt tourists? They've got more money to burn? or their hands are much cleaner? or do they look like Angels to you? Eh i seriously suggest you hand over your shop to someone who has better attitude yeah? or you just close your shops lah. How'bt re-naming your shop to "Tourists-only Motion Sports", or "Anti-Locals Motionless Sports"? Eh thanks Mr Chinese botak fella, you've just set my anger on motion again, for it has been stagnant and dormant for years.
I'm sorry this is my blog and i'm just writing abt how i feel. This is a place where i can favour more to my id rather than my superego? So pple out there, if you are a tourist reading this, i strongly recommend you visiting this shop named "Motion Sports" located at Orchard Road's Paragon. 2nd or 3rd level i think. The chances are, you're gonna get more than what you bargain for. Thats the real deal. however, if you're a local, please forbide yourself from going to the shop for it may and will most likely result in you getting pissed and unable to control your emotions, or that you'll get a baseball bat punched up your irregardless-of-whether-tight-or-loose asshole. To that hopeless botak fella, no hard feelings, but pls treat ALL CUSTOMERS THE SAME OKAY? or else, you're just a mere failure in life and you're better off selling used lingerie on the streets.
That apart, there's another matter that bothers me alot. In the previous post i talked abt how vicious and naive some people can be!
Oh hi i'm Ah Tok(not his/her real name) and i'm simply gorgeous. Voluptuous would be a better word to describe me. Sensual lips awaiting yours... bleah nah okay i'll come straight to the point. Oh i've been away for quite awhile, so i guess u've missed me much eh? Expected lah, nah no worries, here i am! I have little friends and they're beginning to leave me one by one? Why? I DON'T KNOW?! Oh wait i guess i know. my friends are stolen away! by their respective relationship partners. Oh my! some people are trying to take my friends away by going stead with them? see! now my friends spend more time with their steads than with me. I cannot let this go on or i'll lose them forever! solution? ASK THEM TO BREAK UP! Yeah thats good cos it'll not hinder their studies! yeah this way, they'll come to me instead of their steads that seemingly have no future at all. If they choose to be stubborn and don't listen to my precious advises, then i shall tie our friendships to a deadknot. How'bt that?

blah... blah... blah...
How some people think one arh? Im not pointing out any particular person here, its just a generalised example. If you're having this way of handling friendship, please, it'll only make you lose your friends. Im just freaking too tired to repeat myself again on such issues and stuff again, but please don't ever threaten to end your friendships with your friend just because he/she has too little time for you, be it due to relationship or other commitments. Friendship itself is a huge commitment and compromisation as well. Friends are not who we ask to come and go as and when we like, but whom we are integrated with in our lives. okay im gonna sleep cos i've chose to sacrifice my sleeping hours to post this deep thought i have in my mind for a long time. At least i can go to bed tonight with a lighter mind.



efijy rockeD* at 11:36 PM

Sunday, September 04, 2005


Why can't some people get alife? people who are already heading towards their 20's still retaining their child-like behaviour? Fancy getting anal over minute matters, thus neglecting the whole bigger picture of life? I shall not reveal this particular person's particulars for i respect his privacy, at least more than i respect him. This guy kept bugging me to do lend him something. i mean its okay if he wants me to lend him something, but at least ask nicely right? No he did'nt. As some of you pple know, im slow to reply in msn, either im busy doing something else or that im simply not at my pc- probably im outside in the living rm watching tv or something. okay so he asked me over msn. he msged me but i didnt reply cos i was, urm, in the living rm? so i didnt hear the bloody msn's alert tone as the sound was engulfed by the loud sub-woofers of my tv. to my displeasure, i suddenly heard this sound(the sound when pple nudge you over msn)in the background. once is enough so i went back to the rm to check what's the urgency of someone continuously nudging me non-stop. Bill Gates and his supporting team of IT geeks at microsoft are smart enough to ensure that the latest versions of msn messenger do not allow users to nudge pple too often. To much of my dismay, that bugger is alittle outdated and was still using the older version of msn messenger that allows the playful self of him to keep nudging pple non-stop. I was very much irritated and frustrated, thus i ignored him as i deliberately chose to reply to other conversation windows first, at least they are pple who are willing to wait, and are polite. As i was in the midst of other conversations, that bugger performed his "xiang long shi ba nudge" again. how irritating. i did not reply him that particular day. i thought i could hold back my patience, until today, where all hell broke loose. He nudged me again, without like saying helo, or at least try to TYPE and MAKE MORE PRODUCTIVE USE OF YOUR KEYBOARD FIRST BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK ABT NUDGING PPLE. Usually, pple will like type out as per normal at first, and will only resolve to nudging when the matter is urgent or when the latter did not reply for quite some time. He is otherwise. Of cos, this time i replied him, giving him hell of a time, greeting him with trains of insights and enlightenment as to how to ASK PEOPLE NICELY, or GREET PEOPLE FIRST BEFORE YOU THINK ABT ANITHING ELSE. I asked him if he knew that what he did was irritating and he replied yes. He said he had to do that because i didnt reply. If this is so, THEN WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WILL REPLY TO YOUR TREAT OF TENDER NUDGES?! So pple, pls be nice and polite will ya? Although the messenger service is designed to bring conveniences to conversation and interactivity to the masses, it does not mean that fundamental manners can be excused.

After a few years at JC, I've realised something that I had never even thought i would come to. They say workplace is likened to that of a battlefield, i feel that schoolplace is very much likened to a workplace. That is, schoolplace is perhaps like a life-firing training ground, where mock battles and fights are conducted. They prepare us for the war ahead that is somewhat inevitable in our journey of life. To my opinion, JCs are perhaps the worst places to talk about trust and loyalty. I've never had this kind of feeling before back in kindergarten, secondary sch, nor even Millennia Institute, where i've been for my 1st 3 mths while pending my O's results. Some(not all) pple in jc are very fake, as in, they put on their facade to sch everyday, as if its sewed into part of their jc uniform that they must wear. They can backstab pple as though they are chanting their ABCs. they pretend to be so damn nice to you in front of you and they go around talking things behind you at your absence. They will perhaps go to student A, telling him abt how student B sucks and then go back to student B, talking to him as though they are sworn brothers, then slowly but surely, speculating abt how student A deserves hell. They will smile and say "hi" to you when they bump into you, and when you walk away unnoticed, he or she will wipe that smile off, as if it is loaned out to you, and replace it with nothing more pleasant than a frown. When you get back tests or assignments, they will flock around you and ask how you did, as if they cared so much for you. If you replied "i did badly", they'll show that sympathised look and act as though they really sympathise with you, more like they'll only want to give their condolences to you. Probably, inside their mind, they're thinking "YES!!! he is worse than me, he is stupid and im smart". However, if you replied "well, i did great!", they'll pretend to be happy for you and inside them, they are filled with envy and jealousy, hoping the worse for you next time round. They'll encourage you not to study so hard, as they reasoned that you should take care of your health more than anything else. "EH DONT STUDY LAH, WHY?! FAIL TOGATHER!".

When you accidentally bang into them, you sincerely apologise and they say "Nah its okay, no problem dude". Inside them, they're cursing you; "that fucking nae nae, hope he kena knock down by an eighteen-wheeler and get ran over. The driver, unaware of what happened, will then stop the truck(while you are still pinned under the last sets of wheels towards the rear), then reverse the truck so as to check if he've knocked down anyone(so that you will be ran over once again, and now you are directly under the front steering wheels of the truck), as the driver's hand is itching, he'll steer the wheels to max left and right repeatedly(until it eventually burn a large whole in your stomach), and finally after seeing nothing amiss, the driver speed off again(this time, you are again ran over and as you thought everything is over, your shirt got hooked by the rear axle of the truck, and you are dragged painfully against the tarmac as you see blood trailing behind the trailer of the truck. Other drivers tailing behind see you and laugh at you, as they swerve into other lanes to prevent their new Bridgestone tyres from getting stained by your trail of blood. Finally, you see a police car behind, attempting to signal to the truck driver to stop so that you can be freed from underneath the truck, dead or alive. Sadly, the truck driver thought the police are after him for alleged drink and drive, thus, he stepped on the accelerator further to attempt to flee from the police. The speed of the truck increased from a mere 60km/h to a skyrocketting 140km/h. you wonder why the truck can go so fast, only to realise that the truck is illegally modified to reach top speeds in excess of 200km/h. Not to forget you are still hooked underneath the truck and you can see the chunks of semi-digested Chicken McNuggets(tm) flowing out of your punctured stomach. Slowly , you see the Toyota Corolla police car growing smaller, unable to catch up, as its top speed of 160km/h is unable to match the truck's 200km/h. Finally, you see the police car switching off its siren, giving up on the chase and turned into a McDonalds drive-thru instead. Slowly, your nostalgia took over and images of the past flashed across your semi-conscious mind. Finally, you fade to black)"

So pple out there, if you happen to dislike someone, pls dont pretend to love him or her. It'll only make you dislike him/her more.
Instead, approach him and talk things out. Not as in you go to the guy and say " eh @#%!^$, u bastard! i dont like you. i wanna settle with you now! I will see no more of your crater face after today!" No, no! What i mean is, go to him and tell him whats the matter, and help him change for the better perhaps. As for me, i am very straight forward and blatant. I simply respond and react according to how i feel. If i like someone, i will be nice to him/her. However, if i dislike him/her, i will non-hesitantly show it as i am not obliged to be nice to him/her.



efijy rockeD* at 11:21 PM

Sunday, July 24, 2005


Hm got bored recently, so just thought of these funy facts about my friend, Jack.

What is Jack's favourite fruit? - Jackfruit
What is Jack's favourite toy? - Jack in the box
What is Jack's favourite fairytale story? - Jack and the Beanstalk
What is Jack's favourite brand of chips? - Jack n Jills
What is Jack's favourite exercise? - JumpingJack
What is Jack's favourite sex position? - Jack-Assing
Where does Jack go to distress? - Jacuzzi
What is Jack's favourite cardgame? - Blackjack
What Jack does at home behind closed doors? - jack-off /ejaculate
Why does Jack drink plenty of water? - because he wants to be a hydraulic jack
What is Jack's nationality? - UK (Union Jack)
Wht breed of dog does Jack keep at home? - Jack Russell
What is Jack's favourite place? - Jack's Place
What is Jack's favourite local delicacy in S'pore? - Rojack (pronounced as rojak)
What type of footwear does Jack wear? - Jackboot
What coat does Jack put on? - Jacket
What is Jack's favourite food? Jacket potato
What pets do Jack keep at home? - Jackal & Jackdaw
Why does Jack always exceed his electricity bills? - because he has too many electrical jacks at home.
What is Jack's favourite terrorist activity? Hijacking, car-jacking etcetera.
What is Jack's favourite cartoon character? - Jack-Jack in 'The Incredibles'
What is Jack's arm as strong as? - Jack-hammer
What is Jack as sharp as? - Jack-knife
What did Jack name his son? - Jackson
What is Jack's forte/niche? - none. he's a Jack-of-all-trades, master of none.
Why is Jack so happy? - because he've hit the jackpot
What is Jack's breed of rabbit? - Jack- rabbit
Why is Jack disliked by so many? - because he's Jack the Lad

How'bt this one, my classmate came out with this:
What is India's derivative of the famous Harley-Davidson brand?
Ans: Bicycle manufacturer Ali, David & Sons.

Hahahaha. Go, go. Have a good laugh!



efijy rockeD* at 1:03 PM

Saturday, April 09, 2005


Today has been one fine day. to start off the relatively wonderful day, i went jamming with my friends at JE. it've been rather productive cos we've managed to play many songs and have some pinch of creativity and flavour stirred up during our freestyling session, a stupendous achievement indeed. not bad for an ameteur band eh, especially me. thats all ba. on the way hm, there was this sturdy young (not that young though) man sitting beside me in the train. he saw this old lady who stood posturing in front of both of us, hoping that both of us would give up our seats for her, one for her flaccid body structure, the other for her great ego. before i could react to my self-consciousness, he made the move before me and non-hesitantly gave up his seat to her. im really touched by his act of civility. after all, it is these kind of pple that make the world a more pleasant place to live in. to the young man (not so young argh!), if u r reading this (which i dunno how is that possible), a big thank you on that old lady's behalf. hmm... this weekend shd be quite relaxing i guess cos there isn't much work to do. but i seriously doubt this will be the same following next week onwards.

Returned home early after pool (the table with balls and cue sticks, not the depression structure with chlorinefied water and swimming trunks) and dinner with Mel. at hm, i tried to convert a metal song ( Fade to Black by Metallica) onto piano and it sound really convincing! i think im really edited, oops i mean addicted to the song. btw, i really hate economics (the lesson, not the subject). every single economics class very much seem like a stultifying brain exercise to me. after every lesson, my brain worked alittle less efficient. what to do?

Other than today, i only have one sentence to sum up my feelings and thoughts: i wholeheartedly, devotedly appreciate and love my friends, family and God. this sentence alone speaks volume abt what is going through my mind right now. i have been inadequate in expressing my gratitude to them, therefore i would like to grasp this opportunity to do so. i'm never a perfect person, neither am i perfectly flawed. i'm far from being the ideal person to befriend with, yet i have my friends who never turn me away. without them, i'm nothing, non existant. my life would be heavily obscured with clouds of unknown otherwise. they are the sunshine of my every day. Thank You



efijy rockeD* at 11:07 PM

Thursday, April 07, 2005


Fark i have not done my homework. i've done gp comprehension and geog drq. left with a bloody 25 mark geog essay! what a way to end off the day.

I've been thinking and reflecting upon my life. i should not be over demanding and have too high expectations in life. after all, i believe that real life begins after death, if anyone of u know what i mean. that means, we r living a sort of pre-life period. we shd learn to look beyond our lives really. have anyone of us thought abt where we will go or what we will become after we die? do we just live and die? then what's the purpose of living? to have a taste of Earth? yes, we mug really hard for our A levels, cry when we receive disappointing results, cheer with tears of joy when we topped our friends, pursue the career of our dreams, woo the girl/guy that we liked, target our first one million to be earned... all of which for what purpose has it installed?

We should shake up our complacencies by looking at all the moral and political urgencies, the life & death dilemmas at other countries which we seldom, if not, never face at home. we should treasure our lives. i really wanna tell the world that even the most downcast homo sapiens are worth living. only by treasuring our lives would we find the arcane mysteries and languages of life. i'm not trying to bolster up people's confidence and appreciation in life. to those who sees suicide as an option, please take into consideration of what i've said, go read books on life and perhaps, afterlife.

Life is flaccid. i often thought about the numerous lives lost through disasters succh as the asian tsunami and the recent indonesian earthquake. what made them deserving of death? what right have they to part from their loved ones? many of them are struggling to live, why aren't they given the chance at all? then i started blaming whoever i can think of - mother nature, God etc. but now as i look back again, is death superior to life? what makes me so certain that death is the end of our lives? perhaps they have found the very essence of life that we have missed out. perhaps they are leaving for the better.



efijy rockeD* at 11:55 PM

TAKE A LOOK AT BAO LOON
Abao.. Abao.. He's not a boy, not yet a man... Birthday: 21st July, 1986. Favourite colour: Blue. Favourite animal: Dog. Dimensions: height 1.70m, weight 52kg, vital stats 32 32 32 stickinsect. Horoscope: Cancer. Plays hockey for his school Pioneer Junior College. Plays drum for his band Thunderstruck and Re-Cast. Loves his Family, Friends and God.
GREENDAY: BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS
THIS SONG IS DEDICATED TO MY FRIENDS, FAMILY AND GOD
SING ALONG WITH ME...

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

playing BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS
by Green Day =)

FRIENDS
BAOLOON'S RECOMMENDATIONS
TO DO LIST
  • Compose a song for my band
  • Play hockey
  • Go for the stupid NS medical checkup thingy
  • Study and mug hard
  • Express my utmost gratitude to my Family, Friends and God


  • designed by AH BAO
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    This is my blog! I have the rights and liberty to post whatever i want okay? I apologize in advance to whomever i offend with my words. Aniwae hope you guys enjoyed your visit here. Thanks.